• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates P.C.

Estate Planning | Making a Difference One Family at a Time

An Estate Planning Law Firm
Making a Difference One Family at a Time

Call Now: (860) 548-1000

Attend a Complimentary Seminar
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Our Firm
    • About Our Firm
    • Careers
    • Client Testimonials
    • Meet Our Team
  • Services
    • Asset Protection & Business Planning
    • Estate And Gift Tax Figures
    • Estate Planning
    • LGBTQ Estate Planning
    • Loss of a Loved One
    • Pet Planning
    • Powers of Attorney
    • SECURE Act
    • Special Needs Planning
    • Trust Administration and Probate
  • Elder Law
    • Alzheimer’s Disease
    • Caregiver Information
    • Emergency Medicaid & Nursing Home Planning
    • Guardianship & Conservatorship
    • Hospice Care
    • Medicaid Planning
  • Resources
    • Complimentary Estate Planning Worksheet
    • Complimentary Medicaid/Long-Term Care Calculator
    • DocuBank
    • Elder Law Resources
      • Glastonbury Elder Law Resources
    • Estate Planning Articles
    • Estate Planning Checkup
    • Estate Planning Definitions
    • Estate Planning Presentations
    • Estate Planning Seminars
    • Estate Planning Techniques
    • Frequently Asked Questions
      • Asset Protection and Business Planning
      • Elder Law & Medicaid
      • Estate Administration
      • Estate and Gift Tax
      • Estate Planning
      • Frequently Asked Questions for Families Without an Estate Plan
      • Incapacity Planning
      • In-Home Elder Care
      • Irrevocable Trusts
      • LGBTQ Estate Planning
      • Living Trust
      • Medicaid Planning
      • Nursing Home Asset Protection FAQs
      • Probate
      • Probate Avoidance
      • SECURE Act 2.0
      • Trust Administration
      • Wills
    • Newsletters
    • Probate Resources
      • Probate Resources
    • Published Books
    • Reports
      • Advanced Estate Planning
      • Basic Estate Planning
      • Estate Planning for Niches
      • Trust Administration
  • Seminars
  • Communities We Serve
    • Fairfield County
      • Darien
      • Fairfield
      • Stamford
    • Hartford County
      • Avon
      • Hartford
      • Simsbury
      • West Hartford
    • Litchfield County
      • Watertown
    • Middlesex County
      • Middletown
      • Old Saybrook
    • New Haven County
      • Middlebury
      • New Haven
    • New London County
      • Groton
      • Old Lyme
      • Stonington
    • Tolland County
      • Mansfield
    • Windham County
      • Woodstock
  • REVIEW US
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
Home » Elder Law » My Sister and I Disagree about Medical Treatment for My Mother. What Are Our Options for Settling the Dispute?

My Sister and I Disagree about Medical Treatment for My Mother. What Are Our Options for Settling the Dispute?

December 10, 2019 by Barry D. Horowitz, Estate Planning Attorney

Glastonbury elder law attorneyFew things are more emotionally trying than watching your aging mother’s physical and/or mental health deteriorate to the point where she can no longer make decisions for herself. If you find yourself in just that situation, someone will have to step in and make health care decision for your mother. What happens if you and your sister (or another sibling) cannot agree on who should make those decisions? What options are available to settle your dispute? A Glastonbury elder law attorney at Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates, P.C. discusses options for settling a dispute between siblings regarding health care treatment for a parent.

The Child becomes the Parent

As your parents age, there may come a point when you begin to realize a subtle role reversal is occurring. The parent who once took care of you now needs you to take care of him/her. If your mother has outlived your father, or he is not in the picture for any other reason, you may reach a point where it becomes necessary for you to make all health care decisions for your mother. While you are more than willing to take over your mother’s care, your sister doesn’t agree with some of the decisions you are making regarding your mother’s medical care and treatment. Where does that leave you?

You Are Not Alone

While you may feel as though you are alone, the reality is that variations of this theme play out every day all across the country. When an elderly patient reaches the point of incapacity, at which he/she cannot make health care decisions, someone else must make those decisions. When the patient’s adult children cannot agree on a plan of care, it can result in costly litigation as well as cause a rift in the family that may never heal. Fortunately, there are options available that may help you resolve the situation before it reaches that point.

Is There an Advance Directive in Place?

The best case scenario would be for your mother to have executed the appropriate advance directive prior to reaching the point of incapacity. In the State of Connecticut, a legal document called an “Appointment of a Health Care Representative” allows someone to appoint an Agent to make decisions for them in the event they are unable to make those decision because of incapacity at some point in the future. An Agent has the authority to do things such as consent, refuse to consent, or withdraw consent to medical treatment on behalf of the person executing the document. Your first step, therefore, when a dispute arises regarding decision making for your mother should be to determine if she executed an Appointment of a Health Care Representative. Most people keep a copy with their estate planning documents. You might also ask your mother’s estate planning attorney and/or her treating physicians or hospitals where she has been treated.

Alternatives to Litigation

If it appears that your mother did not execute an Appointment of a Health Care Representative, there are some options that may help if your sister is willing to participate. You might try counseling with a therapist who specializes in elder issues. You might also all agree to hire a geriatric care manager. This is someone who is often a social worker or nurse and who specialize in assessing a senior’s needs and coordinating the care and resources necessary to help them.

Petitioning for Guardianship

If all else fails, you may need to consider becoming your mother’s legal guardian. If she is truly unable to make her own decisions, then someone else needs to have the legal authority to do so for her. Petitioning to become your mother’s legal guardian will give you that authority. Because guardianship is the most restrictive option, and because your sister has the right to object to your appointment, you should consider guardianship an avenue of last resort. You should also consult with an experienced elder law attorney before making the decision to seek guardianship over your mother.

Contact a Glastonbury Elder Law Attorney

For more information, please join us for an upcoming FREE seminar. If you have additional questions or concerns about the best way to handle disagreements regarding care for an aging parent, contact an experienced Glastonbury elder law attorney at Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates, P.C. by calling (860) 548-1000 to schedule an appointment.

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Barry D. Horowitz, Estate Planning Attorney
Barry D. Horowitz, Estate Planning Attorney
Founding Partner and President at Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates PC
Barry D. Horowitz is a founding partner and president of the law firm of Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates, P.C. He received his diploma from the Loomis Chaffee School and his Bachelor of Arts from Bennington College, where he dual majored in philosophy and music.

Mr. Horowitz was awarded his Juris Doctor degree with honors from the University of Connecticut School of Law. While attending law school, Mr. Horowitz received the American Jurisprudence Award in Legal Ethics and the Nathan Burkan Award.

After graduation from law school, Mr. Horowitz continued his legal education at New York University School of Law where he received a Post Doctorate Law Degree in Taxation. He has also recently received a national achievement award.

Mr. Horowitz is admitted to practice before all the state courts in the State of Connecticut and the United States District Court.

Mr. Horowitz was selected for Super Lawyers in 2021.
Barry D. Horowitz, Estate Planning Attorney
Latest posts by Barry D. Horowitz, Estate Planning Attorney (see all)
  • Understanding the Probate Process and How to Avoid It - September 28, 2023
  • Take Precautions to Protect Your Legacy - September 12, 2023
  • Regular Reviews and Updates of Your Estate Plan Are Essential - August 24, 2023
Share our Content:

Filed Under: Elder Law

Other Articles You May Find Useful

legacy protection
Take Precautions to Protect Your Legacy
Medicaid child caregiver exemption
Be Aware of the Medicaid Caregiver Child Exemption
Medicaid planning, Medicaid estate recovery mandate
Medicaid Estate Recovery Mandate Is Under Siege
elder financial abuse
Understanding and Combating Elder Financial Abuse
Medicaid planning
Medicaid Planning: What About the Healthy Spouse?
Medicaid planning
Does Medicare Cover Nursing Home Care?

Primary Sidebar

Nirenstein, Horowitz & Associates

Upcoming Seminars

Estate Planning Seminar

Date: October 17

Venue: Canton Community Center, 40 Dyer Avenue, Collinsville, CT, 06019, United States

Estate Planning Seminar

Date: October 18

Venue: Cheshire Public Library, 104 Main Street, Cheshire, CT, 06410, United States

See all Seminars

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

TESTIMONIALS

Blog Subscription

Our blog gives you the most up-to-date estate planning news. Sign up today to receive our regular updates!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

WESTPORT OFFICE

8 Wright Street, Suite 107
Westport, CT 06880
Phone: (860) 548-1000
Fax: (860) 761-1070
preserveyourestate_sidbr_map

Somerset Square

200 Glastonbury Boulevard, Suite 202
Glastonbury, CT 06033-4418
Phone: (860) 548-1000
Fax: (860) 761-1070
preserveyourestate_sidbr1_map

Office Hours

Monday8:30 AM - 5:00 PM
Tuesday8:30 AM - 5:00 PM
Wednesday8:30 AM - 5:00 PM
Thursday8:30 AM - 5:00 PM
Friday8:30 AM - 5:00 PM

Footer

footer-logo
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this or associated pages, documents, comments, answers, emails, or other communications should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. The information on this website is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing of this information does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.

Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Disclaimer | Site Map | Powered by American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys

© 2023 American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.